Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had chosen to remain childless.  I picture late nights out with friends, sleeping in until at least 7 am!  A wardrobe that lacks pregnancy jeans and granny panties that have managed to hang around for 3 years after the birth of my last child, and time in the morning to actually do my hair without giving up breakfast or brushing my teeth.  Think about vacations and only packing for one!  Well two, the husband is still around...this isn't the I am still single day dream.  The fact that only MY bladder would make us stop to pee!  The music in the car would be Mumford and Sons (the version with the F word too!) not a Nickelodeon compilation, and I could talk on the phone all I wanted with no one tearing the phone away form my ear wanting to say "hi! Hi! HI!  ok bye.."

In fact studies are showing that people with no children are happier than folks with kids, and sometimes I think maybe those study aren't so off base!

But then I get a whiff of Watermelon Blast no tears shampoo as a little head snuggles into my shoulder.  Or I look on my wall or fridge door and find the blue, green, brown speckled heart with "I love you mommy" that I know the preschool teacher wrote, but I don't care because he signed his name.  I remember the feeling when I first got to hold that little floppy bag of goo and how I get a tiny bit of that feeling now when he let's me snuggle him.  I like the inflated feeling I get when they says please or thank you to a stranger without me whispering it in their ear first.  I like the feeling of knowing there is something bigger going on here than just me.

So if in this blog I am very frank about feelings or thoughts about my children or being a mother.  Please remember that first and fore most, I LOVE being a mom, and would not, in the real world, give up what I have now or where I am now for anything....well almost anything, but that's for another post.